It's no secret that I am an impatient person and like to have things go my way. I like to have things/attend events/carry out plans/see results--right now. If it doesn't happen right this second, expect to see a fit or two thrown. Then again, after the apparent fit, I can regroup and do the whole "slow and steady wins the race" thing since having my own way trumps impatience but only after I throw my fit--got to throw my fit first. This obvious and oftentimes unattractive part of my persona possibly comes from my Daddy (he likes to have fits too), or it stems from my role as the youngest child (we youngests tend to have a lot of attention heaped upon us as babies and still expect it years later--like 29 years later). So when it finally came time for Jeffrey and I to entertain the idea of having children, little did I know of the roller coaster ride we were in for.
I don't know precisely when Jeffrey and I decided we should go forth and multiply, but I do remember we were not always on board with the idea. When we first got married, I had plans for graduate school, Jeffrey wanted to get established in his career, I wanted something that could pass for a career--wasn't quite sure what at the time, and basically children were the furthest things from our minds.
So after we accomplished those life goals, and add to that a brand new (well, new to us; the place was built in 1924) home and a van (to haul Jeffrey's drums, not for kids--actually, Jude has yet to ride in the van), we finally arrived at the inevitable--kids. We felt pretty good about our position on family. We both pretty much agreed on how we would raise them (although I'm still not totally on board with Jeffrey introducing Jude to sci-fi. I mean, I know he's little now, but eventually I will want Jude to date and get married, and nothing repels a woman quite like Dr. Who.) Anyway, we were ready.
It actually took a few years and a lot of heartache before Jude graced us with his presence. I'm not quite ready to share our experience in detail with the world, and I don't know when or if I can ever put that into words, but for those couples who struggle to have children, you are not alone. You really do have to have patience and lots of it (having God in your corner helps too). But here's what I can say about my experience: Jude was well worth the wait, and I'm saying this after having just changed a blow out of a diaper.
I've had many humbling experiences in my lifetime (and my faithful readers who have been following this blog with its sarcastic wit, you've probably already gathered this). However, this particular one takes the prize. I definitely learned my lesson on patience. Now I'm not going to say that from here on out, I will be the most patient person ever put on Earth who makes Job look like a jealous wretch, because even since Jude's arrival, I've had some setbacks. However, my fits are not as frequent as they once were. After all, when something doesn't go as planned, I now have a little face that looks at me daily to remind me to just let it go.
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